Invigorated

New class, audition, back to class, Artist's Meeting and then.  That's it, I guess.  Busy day though and unexpectedly so. I went to find out more about the Margie Haber Studio yesterday and turns out they had an intensive starting today that I could jump into.  I wasn't planning on taking a class before the year ended but might as well wrap up this year with a bang.  The intensive will finish right before the holidays which is perfect.  Would love to chat/type more but on a time crunch this morning.  Gotta get this day going!

Stirring gravy for Thanksgiving.
The excitement on my face about the pending
meal sums up how I feel about today.
It's allll gravy.

Quote of the Day

I don't think anything that is really creative can be done without danger and risk.  

- Julie Taymor, 60 Minutes Interview

Happy Thanksgiving (weekend)!

Hope everyone had an amazing Thanksgiving yesterday and enjoys their entire weekend!  We weren't able to get home to see our families this year, so we hosted a dinner for our friends that were in the same boat.  I made my first turkey....

...which turned out pretty good!  Thank you to The Barefoot Contessa and multiple Skypes with Mom and Grandma.  And everyone brought a dish to share so our meal was very, very delicious....

I am beyond grateful for the blessings in my life:  My family, who I missed terribly; my friends, who I loved sharing the day with; and my husband, who really is my Prince Charming.

Now...some pie for breakfast is in order!  See you on Monday...!

Expanding

Fully being invested without being attached to the outcome.  Let me just be in the joy of the experience.  Your worth as a woman is neither increased nor decreased by the result. - Marianne Williamson

There was an interesting moment of synchronicity that happened last week.  My friend, FT, had an audition and she asked if I could read through the lines with her.  As we worked on her scene, we started talking about other things and Marianne Williamson came up. She speaks every Tuesday on A Course in Miracles and FT often goes.  As it happened, her audition was on Wed. morning, so she had missed that week's teaching running lines with me and she said, "You should come with me next week."  And I said, "Oddly enough, my friend K. and have been emailing each other recently about going to check that out.  So I would love to go. And K. will probably come too."  A few days later, I get a message from K.  All it said was, "Marianne Williamson, next Tuesday?"  I hadn't gotten in touch with him yet to tell him I was already planning on going.  So clearly...something was at work to bring all of us there last night.

I am very glad that I went and I plan on going again.  Her teaching covered a lot of ground, from the imagery of suffering found in various religious and ancient teachings, how that applies to our lives today and how unhappiness can register profoundly in the holiday season, especially as Americans, where in our culture we are inundated with imagery of how we are supposed to be "happy happy happy" and "consume consume consume," which often magnifies any pain we are already feeling.  Very interesting stuff.  After her initial teaching, she also took questions from those in attendance about personal issues they are facing.  And one girl is applying to graduate programs and is battling feelings of inadequacy and thoughts of "who do you think you are applying for such lofty goals?"  Which led to the quote that started this post.  Being fully invested without being fully attached to the outcome.  As an actor, I love that. It might become my new mantra at every audition.  The fact is that there are a lot of factors that lead to the final decision in casting that we have no control over.  What we do have control over is the way in which we approach every opportunity.  Here's to approaching this life with gratitude and joy - being fully invested in the moment.

Click Your Heels

A commercial audition yesterday morning was a nice way to start Celebrate Life Day.  It was at a casting office that I hadn't been to out here yet.  But I have been to their NY office.  And the set up and look of the office was very similar to NY and I had to double check my memory to see if I had been to there at some point or just to the one in NY.  I decided it was the latter scenario.  It actually made me feel a little nostalgic for my NY days.  People alway ask me, "Do you miss NY?"  I feel like I'm put into a corner with that question!  Much like I imagine children of divorce feel like when someone asks, "Do you want to live with your mom or your dad?"  Obviously, if I could have NY and LA be in one place, that would be the ideal situation.  And there is a definite source of pride that comes with living in NY and I guess that is part of my answer.  I was in NY for five and a half years.  And I loved it.  And if work took me back to NY, I would happily be there.  But...I kind of love LA.  I love the friends I've made and the people I've met. I love the opportunities that always seem to be percolating. I love the weather.  I was in NY for a quick day trip last month and, no doubt, I miss my friends there and our old neighborhood haunts.  I miss the theatre and the pulse of the city.  But LA is home now.  And there's no place like home.

Celebrate Life Day

Just a couple of views from my window as we made our way back from Vegas yesterday.  The hubby and I woke up Saturday morning and decided to go ahead and jump in the car for a quick Vegas getaway.  We have declared today, 11/22, Celebrate Life Day so this weekend was a way to kick it off. Sometimes life takes turns that are unexpected and sometimes there aren't always answers as to why.  So instead of focusing on the challenges that have shaped our past year, we have decided to look at all of the positives and the blessings that we have and celebrate them.  Celebrate Life.  Ironic that this day falls on Thanksgiving week, my favorite holiday.  I love that we have set aside a day that doesn't revolve around gift giving but instead on giving thanks.  

The pictures from our drive home are actually in chronological order of being seen - the clear sky to the snow-dusted mountains to the sun breaking through the clouds.  Harking back to my English Lit roots, it's hard to deny the imagery that led us home. 

Today's Instructions

Have an amazing weekend!  Live it up.  Love it up.  Don't stop 'till you get enough.

Livin' the Life

Sorry for the delay in posting today! Had an audition this morning that I got to play dress up for....welcome to the 80s:

80s office attire was the request from casting and I had a lot of fun getting done up.  And don't worry, I made my hair even bigger before I left my house.  From 80s awesomeness this morning to sultry sexiness tonight.  I'm going in for a short film where I am a "gorgeous model" that has a dark side.  Rachel McAdams did an interview recently and she said, "Being an actor you get to have so many lifetimes in one."  I am living the life today...a couple of them!  And speaking of living the life...have you read The Working Actress blog?  My friend, FT, told me about it and I sat and read through every post yesterday. She blogs anonymously and really captures the hustle and the truths of this crazy life we've chosen.  She is where I want to be and still fighting to get further.  I found myself feeling both frustrated and motivated when reading.  Frustrated because I'm not where I want to be yet but also motivated because I still have places to be.  And I'm going to get there.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some work to do and lines to learn....

Open

Inspiration has many sources lately...

Life will knock you down more times than you can possibly imagine.  Don't knock yourself down...Put yourself out there.  Give yourself a chance.

- Last night's episode of Parenthood

If you want to work on your art, work on your life.

- Chekhov

View from L's wedding venue

200

This is my 200th post.  That is...pretty awesome.  I have always been a bit of a "starter."  There are a lot of ideas that float around in this head and sometimes they end up outside of my head, written down in various forms.  I am a big fan of pencil and paper, so I have countless notebooks that are scribbled in but rarely do I actually stick with an idea long enough to fill the notebook.  I have countless documents saved on my computer that are just a sentence or a paragraph long.  I actually should revisit the notebooks and documents.  I might have a gem hidden away.  But I guess that is why this being my 200th post seems pretty cool.  I've stuck with this little blog throughout the year and that is a big accomplishment in my writing life.

Another big accomplishment:

Today, in Olympia, Washington, at 4:00, people will gather to see some short films at the 27th Olympia Film Festival.  As the lights dim and the crowd settles, the program will start with my film, TRUE LOVE.  Our writer/director, Al Lewis, made the trip up north to support the film and I'm excited to hear how it goes.  I hope that there is a big turnout!  This is my first time appearing in a film festival and even though I couldn't make the trip up there, I know this will not be the last chance I get to see it on the big screen.  It feels great knowing that my work is showing at a festival today.  That is an accomplishment.

Happy Dance.

Pickles

Classic Pose

Yesterday was such a fun, full day.  It started with the Run for Her 5K in the morning where I ended up with a new PR.  I'm more of a recreational runner, for exercise purposes, so I never really paid much attention to my time.  But yesterday I beat my previous 5K record by nearly three minutes.  Of course, I still was beat by a 6 year old and a 76 year old but, heck, I'm proud of myself.

Classic French Toast

C. came to cheer me on so she and my hubby and I went and treated ourselves to a yummy brunch after the race.  I had some of the best french toast I've ever had at a restaurant.  I have a picture of that too...

Classic Dancing

After breakfast, we had a little bit of downtime to get ready for L.'s wedding.  In case you've been keeping track, this was the eighth wedding that we've gone to this year and it should be the last one.  Who knows? We could get surprised with another!  It was a truly lovely affair, held at an arts center in the mountains.  Fun conversations, fun dancing and lots of love.  A really nice way to finish out the day.

So what does any of this have to do with my acting career?  You know, the whole reason I keep this blog?  ....I think it has everything to do with it...  Sometimes I find myself getting lost in the business of acting - the classes, the auditions, the representation, the networking, the submissions, the next steps - and I start to feel overwhelmed.  Overwhelmed with all that needs to be done, all that I could be doing, all that I should be doing, all of the factors that are out of my control.  And then I find myself thinking ten steps ahead instead of being in the moment.  Anticipation is a deathnail of our craft.  And it can be a real buzzkill for life too.  And at the risk of spiraling this whole thought process even deeper, if acting is a reflection of life, then I'm really putting myself into a double pickle.  So...enough with the pickles.  Appreciating each moment on this journey is going to get me to where I'm already supposed to be.  Embracing the mundane - like french toast - to the monumental - like marriage - is what art is all about.  I'll keep racing toward my goals but I'm going to dance all the way there.

Love and Life

Two Fridays ago I wrote a post called "Love."  It was inspired by John and Cat Goddard and the struggle they have been facing since John was diagnosed with cancer.  John's birthday was last week.  He turned 28.  With a heavy heart, I've learned that he passed away today.  My thoughts are with his wife Cat, his family and his friends.

This Sunday I'm running a 5K.  It is to raise money for ovarian cancer research but I'm running it in honor of all those that have had someone taken too soon because of cancer.  It is a disease that has many forms and has affected truly everyone that I know, myself and family included.  The race is in the morning and that same afternoon my dear friend, L., is getting married.  The day will be full of life affirming steps and reminders to never take love and life for granted.

It is Love that holds everything together, and it is the everything also.  - Rumi

There is no prize...

Endless

First trip to LA, first time seeing the Pacific!

The air has started to cool in LA these past few days and I am enjoying the seasonal feel of this sunny, crisp November morning.  The first time I ever visited LA was in November.  I loved how perfect the temperatures were in the morning and how cool it got in the evening.  Sweater and boots were warranted but no need for an overcoat.  Quite a welcome change from the winters of NY that I never really got used to.  Heading back to NY at the end of that first visit, plans were already in motion to move to LA at the turn of the year.  I would visit again in December to find an apartment and then in January it became official.

I'm listening to Brandi Carlile's Give Up the Ghost album this morning and loving it.  It is making me reflective with a touch of melancholy.  Thinking back to when this adventure started, this past year and wondering where the next year will take us.  As my friend R. said in her status yesterday, "Possibilities are endless."

Sometimes this happens

When I was running this morning I thought about a blog topic, thought that it would be a good one and now....I can't remember for the life of me what it was.

This world continues to get smaller...

...I decided to treat myself to a mani/pedi on Saturday morning.  As I went to sit down there was a woman that was getting her nails done a table over from me.  We smiled at each other as I moved to my chair and then we both did one of those quizzical look-backs.  The, "I feel like I know you from somewhere"-look-backs. I couldn't immediately place her so I just chalked her up to being a familiar face and there are a lot of them in this town.  Nearly everyone I know has a story about saying hello to someone they thought they knew only to realize later that the person was familiar because of a commercial they saw or a show they watched, so I figured it was one of those situations.  But then I couldn't help but overhear her telling her manicurist about how she had been working for ten days straight and this was her only day off and slowly I started making connections in my mind....She was my makeup artist on the Pizza Hut set!  I absolutely knew her.  So I interrupted and said, "I'm sorry, are you a makeup artist?" And she said, "Yes! Have we worked together??"  And I told her when and where and she felt relieved because I had looked familiar to her too but she couldn't place it.  And, small world of small worlds, she was going to be working with my director from the PH shoot the following day.  So, she and I chatted and caught up and then I had to move to get my toes "did" and we said our goodbyes and hopeful sentiments that we would see each other on set again soon.

Flashforward to our post-improv-graduation-show party later that afternoon.  One of my classmates is talking to someone next to me and I can't help but overhear him say he was shooting a commercial but it was for a foreign market and it wasn't union and he ended up in the hospital because of a burn - kind of a horror story - but, "A few months later" he "shot a Pizza Hut commercial and it was so much better."  "Get out!" I say, "When did you shoot that?"  "Earlier this year." "Me too!"  Turns out we were in the same campaign that had been shooting over the early months of this year and he worked with the same director that I did.

Small world.

And speaking of our improv-graduation-show, it was a blast!  We had so much fun and had a great audience turnout.  Had some good laughs and clever bits and I'm looking forward to more improv in the future.  I'm going to miss our class though - we had a really good group of people!

Progress

It has been a quiet week.  I finished my improv class this Wednesday and we have our big graduation show over the weekend.  I've been working on The Artist's Way and seeing synchronicity springing up all around.  Keeping a log of coincidences to see if anything ends up connecting along the way...

Talking with my friend, CM, yesterday I realized we had a few common goals.  We were talking about shooting a few projects and just getting material out there.  Building footage, creating projects for ourselves and our friends.  One of the things that holds us back is our desire to make whatever we are doing the best it can possibly be.  Which is, of course, always the goal.  But it is also one of the hardest goals to reach because art is rarely finished - it is a living, breathing creation.  As artists we often feel like we could have tweaked, heightened, made a stronger choice, in nearly all of our endeavors.  Since that conversation, I thought about something I read the first week of The Artist's Way.  It jumped out at me then and speaks to our conversation yesterday:

Progress, not perfection, is what we should be asking of ourselves.

The thought for the weekend.  The goal for next week.  Progress.

Desire-Discipline-Patience

Truth be told, chance are that someone has already done the things you want to do, or will do them, or maybe is doing them right this second.  So what separates you from the rest?  Desire?  Discipline?  Patience?  Having that fire inside?  You have to  have all of these elements working for you in combination.  If you have the desire and the motivation, but not the talent, it won't amount to anything.   If you have talent but no discipline or patience, then you're not going to follow through.  If you happen to succeed despite missing one of these fundamental attributes, let me give you this advice:  Enjoy it for the moment, because your time in the spotlight will be short-lived.  

- Rickey Minor, There's No Traffic on the Extra Mile

That is just one of the little gems in Rickey's book. Even though I'm only half-way through reading it, there have already been plenty of gems that have popped out.  I am reading it with a pencil in hand so I can take notes! Rickey is the musical director for The Tonight Show and he is the reason I got a chance to go to the show last week.  My friend, M., met him and they started talking about music.  She is a jazz singer and so they had a lot to talk about.  He invited her and her friends to come to the show the next day and I was thrilled to go.  He had another guest there, an accomplished opera singer, and there I sat thinking, I'm awesome at karaoke!  The truth is that I have always hoped that my acting would lead to singing opportunities - whether it is in a role in film or on Broadway.  Taking voice lessons a few summers back, in NY, was one of the most anticipated parts of my week.  I sing when I'm happy, I sing when I'm sad - singing has always been one of my go-to stress relievers...I'm just a gosh darned walking musical.  Remember when I had the commercial audition a little while back when I got to sing?  That was one of my favorite auditions to date.  So, clearly, I loved being around all of these musicians and just soaking up the atmosphere backstage at The Tonight Show.  And, talking with Rickey and now reading his book, it is definitely inspiring knowing someone that is so successful that has been following the themes of "working hard, following dreams, being unreasonable" that I write about on here.  Seeing how those philosophies pay off is encouraging.  Makes me want to work that much harder. 

I voted.

One at a time

Oh my, oh my.  How time does fly.  It is November....November!  Hope you all enjoyed your Halloween weekend.  Ours was a bit low key this year and we didn't get as many trick-or-treaters as we have in years past...which means there is now leftover candy to contend with.  I guess someone has to eat it (ahem).  Ok, so there are two fun things to catch you up on.  Parenthood and The Tonight Show.  I'll save the latter for later.  First up....Parenthood!

Parenthood Panel:

You could tell how much this cast really enjoys working with each other and how the family dynamic that they've created on the show has now seeped into their lives...or vise versa.  The moderator did a great job of asking interesting questions, like how did you get your start?  What was you "big break"?  What do you know now that you wish you knew then?  The kind of questions that resonated with most of the actors in the room since we are all hoping to get a show of our own someday.  A few from the cast started in commercials - yay!  And I thought Sam Jaegar said something pretty insightful in regards to auditioning.  He said he finally reached the point where he stopped caring about what "they" wanted and just started doing the roles he read for for himself.  As actors we often get in our head about trying to give casting what they are looking for so that we get the job.  But when does that work?  Rarely, if ever.  We aim to please and we miss the mark.  I was actually talking about this last week with a friend, F.T., and she said, 'Most of the time, this is the only time I will ever get to play the role - in the audition.  Why not have fun with it and do exactly what I want?  Either I am the part or I'm not.  I'm never going to be it if I'm not.'  Goes back to the sage words of Rick Nelson....

You can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.