Happy New Year's Eve

Thank you 2010 for granting new perspective. This year was tough but we've made it through.

On to the next.


Wishing you all a beautiful last day of the year!

The Lesson? Love.

Last year, I made a "yearbook" over at Snapfish.  I put an entire year's worth of pictures into a photo book instead of printing them all individually and I loved the way it turned out.  So, of course, I'm doing one for 2010.  Looking through this past year's pictures, I see so much love.  We went to eight weddings, spent an awesome vacation with family, took spontaneous trips, had some wonderful family members come visit and spent a lot of memorable times with friends.  That's the great thing about pictures, isn't it?  You usually only take them when life is good.  And they remind you just how good you have it.

How am I going to remember 2010?  I'll remember it as full of life lessons, growth, sadness and joy.  It was a full year that brought a wide spectrum of experiences and constantly surprised me.  Things didn't always go as planned - life lesson #1.  But you pick up, you keep moving, you grow.  I started this past year with anticipation - I had a premonition that 2010 was going to be a big year.  Being an eternal optimist, I just assumed "big" meant "great."  Things weren't always "great."  But the year was big and there were a lot of great things.  The bottomline for the year:  There was so much love.  And Love overshadowed all the rest.

Next year will bring whatever next year brings, but what you bring TO it will make all the difference. - Marianne Williamson

I know what I'll be bringing:  An overwhelming sense of gratitude, a renewed sense of patience, a fueled fire and a full heart.  I'm ready.

Sugarplums

Talk about synchronicity:  Wrote about my goal of yoga yesterday, woke up this morning to a Groupon for 10 classes at half price at a yoga studio that is right around the corner.  So I already bought it and I'm set to start toward my yoga goal sooner than I expected!  Ohm, indeed!*

Other sugarplum-goals that have been dancing in my head....I am going to be writing more.  I have a few little germs of ideas that lay abandoned in notebooks, scattered throughout my house.  I'm going to flesh a few of those out and see where they take me.  Already, I'm working with a group of friends to make that goal a reality.  We met before the holidays to talk about different ideas we have for shorts and scenes and we are meeting next week to bring those fleshed out ideas to the table and set up a schedule to shoot a few.  My other writing goal is to finish my feature-length screenplay.  I have an idea, it is based on a true story, I've already started my research and my goal is to not let this one "sit."  I'm excited about working on it but don't ask me what it's about yet....I'm keeping this close to my chest for a little while longer...

One of the most gratifying goals that I actually achieved from last year is writing regularly on this blog.  I have well over 200 posts now and I can't believe that I actually stuck with it all year long.  I owe a lot of that accomplishment to my father-in-law because I know that he looks forward to reading this blog everyday.  And knowing that even just one person is reading gives me a sense of responsibility.  I know that there are a handful of you that read everyday too or some that set aside time to catch up on the week at the end of the week and I really do thank you.  It means a lot to know that you are reading, that you are supporting and that you are on this journey with me.  And I plan on keeping it up through 2011...it's been fun!

(*Ironically enough, my horoscope today starts with the sentence, "There's no need to work toward a goal everyday." Hmph.)

The Beginning of the End of the Year

Christmas Eve

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!  Sorry for my lack of posting - we were dodgin' snow storms on the frigid East Coast, visiting family and enjoying our time together.  Finding time to blog is a bit of conundrum when traveling and it is good to take time off now and then to recharge.  I'm looking forward to getting back into my routine though...which includes a cup of steaming coffee while I blog in the morning.  Of course, that routine is going to hit a hiccup when I run out of coffee because - after this can of goodness runs out - that's it.  I'm switching to herbal tea.  One of my "resolutions" for the new year.  I put resolutions in quotation marks because I hesitate to call my goals "resolutions" - "resolutions" get broken.  That is the nature of "resolutions." Instead I like to think of the changes I'm making as goals I'm determined to see through.  I'm determined to make healthier choices when it comes to food and drink.  And I'm also determined to get back into yoga.  I loved yoga when I lived in NY but since moving out here, I dropped the habit.  Time to get my downward dog on again...

I have a feeling that this week is going to lead to a lot of thoughts about what I want to accomplish in the next year and what I've learned from this past one.  And it won't be only me who is thinking these kinds of thoughts.  That is the beauty of the end of a year and the beginning of a new year.  New possibilities, fresh starts, clean slates, taking advantage of momentums built this year...all of these kinds of thoughts swirling in our heads.  Like visions of sugarplums dancing.  I'm going to marinate my sugarplums and share my thoughts as they come this week....and they won't just be about my cliche desire to eat healthier...not that there's anything wrong with that!

Errands can wait

Love last minute auditions!  If you don't know me, you may have read that last sentence as tinged with sarcasm.  But you would have read it wrong. I'm being very sincere.  I love the last minute rush and the excitement of having an audition on a day when you thought you were just going to be doing errands.  You know what?  Errands can wait.  I had a wild afternoon planned yesterday of washing towels, cleaning the bathroom and updating my resume on the 3 million casting sites that are required by various facets of the industry.  But instead I got a welcome call from my commercial agent - a last minute, straight-to-callback audition for that afternoon.  A sweet surprise on a week that is usually very quiet because of the holidays.  And, don't worry, I caught up on my laundry in the evening.

I also caught the sneak preview of Perfect Couples on NBC.  Did anyone else watch it?  I'm excited for when the show starts up in January.  I thought it was very cute and maybe a little *too* relatable...  (*I write, while wearing sweatpants and no makeup.  If you saw the show, you know what I'm talking about...)

More Inspiration!

Yay!  Big thanks to Bonnie who published my story about Kevin in her column today!  If you are an actor friend and you aren't reading her column every Monday, you are missing out on some great info.  I already have a link set up under "Required Reading" but I'll give you the link again:  The Actors Voice.  After you read through her column, make sure to check out "Your Turn" at the bottom to see what I wrote about my inspiring friend, Kevin Knight.

Bonnie's idea to submit inspiring friends to be highlighted throughout the month of December is what inspired my Inspiration Week last week and I still have friends I could write about.  And I probably will!  Maybe I'll start highlighting an inspiring friend/accomplishment each week....

One friend that I could tell you about right now is my friend Mindy.  Her professional colleagues know her better as Melinda Hughes but she'll always be Mindy to me.  She is another friend that I met at the Chubbuck Studios and she did something pretty awesome this month - she did her first stand-up show.  Okay, anyone that can do stand-up comedy is inspiring in my book.  Coming up with material, making people laugh and doing it all while standing up there ALONE is way too daunting for me.  But Mindy's first show - which I regrettably missed because I was sick - went incredibly well.  You wouldn't have guessed it was her first time.  She already has her next show lined up this Wednesday and Marlon Wayans is headlining. She also has been hired to perform at a New Year's Eve party.  Pretty impressive for just starting her stand-up career.  You can check out her first stand-up show on YouTube:  Melinda Hughes Stand-Up.  Fair warning - this is very adult material.  Not for young ears or easily offended ones....she is working on a clean version of her act for her New Year's performance.  This is the dirty version.

She makes me laugh.

Inspiration Week, Part 5

Inspiration Week is coming to a close.  I gotta tell you - I have loved writing about my friends this week.  Not only are they all great and deserving of recognition but it was a lovely break from talking about myself all the dang time!  It just feels good to let people know how much they mean to you - especially when they may not even realize the impact they are making.  So, without further ado, I give you.....

Reid Gormly


I mean, come on.  Look at him.  How can you not adore him already?  He's our next "Tom Hanks" - the Everyman with acting chops that will floor you.  Reid and I met - you guessed it - at Ivana's but we met early on in our journey at the studio.  We were in the advanced level together and became quick friends even before we worked as scene partners together.  He is a man with a good heart and a quick wit.  He is also one of the most loyal friends you could hope for - he was there during some very tough times this year and I am forever grateful for that.

Beyond being a solid-gold buddy to have, he is the acting partner you want to have on your team.  The type of person that he is comes through in his work - generous, compassionate and supportive.  It is no wonder that he continues to work steadily in theatre all around LA and worked on House this year.  He's a triple-threat that can sing, dance and act - you should have seen him in West Side Story!  Oh, wait.  Make that a quadruple-threat:  He's a writer, too.   He has been developing a series with his friends and has serious parties, seriously interested.  Reid is a talent that is worth keeping your eye on - he is going places and he deserves all the good that is headed his way. He is an example of talent and integrity and I am lucky to count him as my friend.

Reid's IMDB page is http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2624953/ and you can visit his website at ReidGormly.com.

Inspiration Week, Part 4

Inspiration week rolls on.....next up......

Cameron McCormick


Cameron and I met - let's see if you can guess it - that's right, in Ivana's class as well.  What is a little more unique about our meeting there is that we have never been scene partners.  Cameron is a force as an actor.  There is great power in her work and if she is doing an emotional scene, watch out.  You'll need to take a break after watching her to collect yourself.  She has the ability to crumble while remaining strong that melts anyone privileged enough to experience her work.

Ours is a relatively new friendship.  While we've always been friendly in and out of class, it is only recently that we've begun to spend more quality time together.  Of course her work as an actor has inspired me but getting to know more about Cameron as a friend has inspired me even further.  She is a woman who has faced great personal trials and continues to fight and fight harder - all with a classic sense of style, a bawdy sense of humor and a clear sense of purpose.  She is taking the reins and making a name for herself, creating her own production company that will develop work for herself and her friends.  She sees where opportunities are and she takes them.  She also has an admirable sense of loyalty that is evident in the way that she supports her friends and their various shows and productions around town.  Her word is gold and her laugh is infectious.  Cameron is an example of elegance and strength and I am lucky to count her as a friend.

Cameron's IMDB page is http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2340261/.

Inspiration Week, Part 3

Inspiration Week Halfway Point.....next up is a triple-whammy......

The Ladies of Girl Parts

You may remember that earlier this year, my friends and I shot the pilot for our webseries, Girl Parts.  We had a production company ready to work with us but, as often happens, the funding fell through and we have been in a state of limbo since then.  Girl Parts is still on the table, scripts ready to go, waiting for the right investors.  In the meantime, however, none of us have stayed idle.  Here are my lovely friends that inspire me....

Kelsey Robinson

Kelsey and I met through our mutual friends from NY that are out here now.  Turns out, Kels was in NY too but we never met on that coast.  Luckily we met here and there's been no looking back.  She and I worked on the concept and several rough drafts of Girl Parts while the idea was in its infancy and then she wrote the pilot that we ended up shooting.  She is an incredible writing talent with a strong comedic sense and an ear for rhythm.  She spent the summer on the east coast, writing scripts and auditioning in the local markets, keeping busy creatively while also allowing herself time to think about where she wants her life and career to go.  When she got back in the fall, she had the awesome opportunity to be the lead in a webseries that is debuting soon, with name talent and a truly professional* production crew.  (*This is a detail that is often missing on web content sets.)  Her ability to tell stories and discover truths are just a few reasons I count myself lucky to call her a friend.

Kelsey's IMDB page is http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2998495/ .

Corinne Becker


Corinne and I met at the same party that Kels and I met at.  Kelsey and Corinne were roommates at the time and I remember sitting outside on the patio, talking for a long while that night.  She had recently moved from Oregon and it was refreshing to meet someone so new to the acting market, who wasn't jaded from years in NY or LA.  Our long talk that night was a sign of how our friendship would progress.

Corinne and I try to meet up about once a week and hike.  We get outdoors, we get some exercise but, most importantly, we get to talk.  We often talk about the "business of show", the triumphs and/or the frustrations that we've seen in the past week.  I love our talks because they are always based in a truly positive place of support and encouragement.  Corinne has stayed busy auditioning and hustling this year and she recently shot the opening sequence of a film that she is the lead in.  After seeing a rough cut, I can't wait to see more.  Oh!  And did I mention that she just got back from Africa?  Yep, this is a girl with a sense of adventure and wonder and I am lucky to count her as a friend.

Melanie Molnar


Mel and I met a little bit after I met the other girls, when she moved back from Paris - where she had lived for four years - to be their roommate. They were throwing a Christmas party and she made the most amazing gingerbread cookies I had ever tasted.  Turns out, Mel is a pastry chef....that is a good friend to have!

This year has been a big one for Melanie.  She worked steadily as a model, had her first speaking role in a major motion picture, joined SAG and just kept hustling.  I can always count on Mel for a rousing game of Scrabble - it's no wonder she was on Wheel of Fortune too this year!  She traveled to Europe this summer and always seems to be on the go.  We talked last week and she is going to help me put together my portfolio so I can find myself a commercial print agent - finally.  Melanie is a tenacious and vibrant spirit, a friend that keeps everyone on their toes and I'm lucky to count her as my friend.

Melanie's IMDB page is http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2998495/ .

Inspiration Week, Part 2

Let's keep this inspiration week rolling.....Next up......




Fadhia Marcelin

Fadhia and I also met in Ivana's class.  Oddly enough, Kevin was her first scene partner and then me.  Coincidence?  Anyway...Fadhia and I became quick friends.  Her warmth and joy are qualities that people are immediately drawn to and I was not immune.  The more time we spent together rehearsing, we'd find that we talked more than we rehearsed.  What could have been a simple partnership resulted in a very true friendship.

Fadhia did something kind of amazing this year.  She had some very specific goals in mind and decided to do something about it.  She wanted a new commercial agent, she knew exactly who she wanted to sign with and she wrote down her goal.  Guess who she is working with now?  That very agency.  Guess what else she did?  She booked the first commercial they sent her out on.  That is how you do it!  She only recently signed with them and she just booked her second job.  We had a meeting set up this week and we needed to reschedule because she is shooting that day.  That is the kind of hustle that I find very inspiring.  She also started a production company with a group of friends and they wrapped their first project this past weekend.  Focus, determination, follow-through.  Keeping busy, keeping focused, keeping motivated.

Fa is the type of friend that is constantly supportive and encouraging growth.  She and I have been working on The Artists Way together, meeting once a week to check-in.  We work on each chapter on our own time and then provide accountability along the way.  We're halfway through and I am not looking forward to it ending.  I think we're going to have to we keep our weekly meetings after we're done!

Fadhia is an example of grace and the power of self-will and I am lucky to count her as a friend.

Fadhia's IMDB page is http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3043762/ .

Inspiration Week

During the month of December, Bonnie has been featuring "awesomeosity" each week in her column.  She put out a call for people to nominate their friends in the industry for being awesome.  What they do that inspires and motivates.  I sent her an email early on and I'm not sure if it will get featured or not but I hope so.  I gotta tell you - it was tough figuring out only one friend to nominate.  I have been so fortunate to develop strong friendships with strong people since moving out here.  And each of my friends has been doing so much and they all deserve to be recognized for their passion and drive.  So, inspired by Bonnie, I would like to dedicate this week on my blog to my friends.  I'm going to feature someone each day and tell you a bit about them.  

First up........the person I wrote to Bonnie about............

Kevin Knight

Kevin and I met in Ivana Chubbuck's Masters Class and, having been his scene partner, I can tell you that he is a gifted actor and artist.  He is a friend that is always looking to lift his friends up, sending quick emails with a motivational quote or a thought about pursuing dreams and he just radiates positivity.  But there is more....You see, Kevin bears a striking resemblance to a young Sugar Ray Leonard.  And Sugar's life story has resonated with Kevin.  So Kevin did some researching and found out that there has been a biopic about Sugar Ray languishing in development for years and there have been recent rumblings about it finally getting made.  So what does Kevin do?  For over a year now, Kevin has been training.  He is boxing several times a week, sometimes going to train twice in a day.  He studied Krav Maga and earned his first belt.  He is letting everyone know what he is working toward:  He wants to play Sugar Ray.  On top of that, it seems like there are all these strange coincidences of "degrees of separation" that continue to happen.  He has met a handful of people who have a direct connection to Sugar Ray and I have a feeling that Sugar has heard Kevin's name.  Kevin is doing all of this knowing full well that this picture may never even see the light of day.  But he is going to be ready if the time comes.  And he is giving himself a fighting chance.   

His passion for acting and for making dreams happen continually inspires.  Whether the Sugar Ray film is ever made is not the point.  He now has skills that will take him wherever he needs to go and a work ethic that puts most people to shame.  Kevin is an example of hustle and determination and I am lucky to count him as a friend.  

Kevin's IMDB page is http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1577871/ .

Balance, young grasshopper.

So last Sunday night, it was the big Ravens/Steelers game.  And my hubby is a big Ravens fan.  And since it was the Sunday night game, we had the rare treat of actually getting to watch the game on TV.  I could have done without seeing Roethlisberger's broken nose - did you see it?? It's an image I can't erase - and I could have done without seeing the Ravens lose in the end.  But one thing I'm really glad I got to hear was something that was said about Ray Lewis.  He is a veteran on the field and continues to be a dominating force on the team.  At one point in the game, the announcers commented on something that a coach said about Ray:

He watches tape like a coach.  He listens like a rookie.

When I heard that, something clicked.  That is what we all need to do, no matter where we are in our careers and no matter what our careers are.  As an actor, watching my work as a coach would is going to help me see strengths and weaknesses that can help me to improve my game.  Listening with the openness and the earnestness that I had when I first started pursuing this career is going to allow me to hear more so I can improve my game.  Combining the two will give me the power to be a dominating force - no matter where I'm at.  

Daniel:  When do I learn how to punch?
Miyagi:  Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?

Get Down

I'm feeling better today.  Thank goodness for little blessings.  You know how I said yesterday that it is tough being sick in LA because it is so beautiful out?  Well, the great thing about LA is that, odds are, the next day will be just as beautiful.  You get another chance to enjoy the pretty.

The view from my window this morning.

So today I leave you with a quote that stood out to me in this week's reading of The Artist's Way:

Art is not about thinking something up.  It is about getting something down.

Here's to gettin' down today.

Take Two

I will not get sick.

Taking today to rest and let my body battle whatever it is that is making me feel achy and congested.  Plan on watching some movies, doing some reading, laying on the couch and not doing much else.

You know what is weird about sick days in LA?  I feel so guilty about them.  It is going to be a gorgeous day.  Highs in the 70s, the sun is already seeping through the windows.  I feel like I should be outside.  It's too pretty here.  Which is not a complaint.  Just a fact.

Off to the couch...

I will not get sick.

The Yoga Bee

It's another busy Tuesday.  Class all day and I have to sneak away again in the middle so I can make it to a commercial audition, come back for the last hour, get home to meet F. for our Artists Meeting and all of this while fighting back some sort of illness.  I'm feeling a bit under the weather but I took it real easy yesterday, drank some EmergenC, went to bed super early and am feeling better today.   I just don't want today's marathon schedule to invite any sort of lingering symptom back to the party.  So I'm planning on taking it easy within the day.  Mellow.  No coffee.  Some nice tea instead.  Ohm.

Nooks and crannies

Where will this week take me?  The second week of the last month of the year.  I feel like I am in constant countdown mode.  The year is coming to an end and there are definitely a few goals that I wanted to reach before the end of 2010 that seem to be a long shot at this point.  I have a hard time feeling like I'm not in control and setting goals is one of my ways to create the illusion of such.  "If I can do A, B, and C by such-and-such a date, then I'll feel good about myself," is the general thought process.  I guess part of my struggle is just letting go.  Adopting the mantra, "I'm exactly where I should be, in this moment."  Which brings me back to the quote from Marianne Williamson that I blogged about two weeks ago:  Your worth as a woman is neither increased or decreased by the result.

This is getting personal, y'all.

Now you've seen into a crevice of my psyche.  Feel free to comment about your crevices and struggles; the lessons that this year has brought and the triumphs that have resulted.  I'm glad you've gone on this journey with me and would love to hear where you're at.

Hollywood Fortune (cookies)

We recently discovered a Chinese restaurant near us that has awesome sweet and sour chicken and so we have been ordering from them a little more regularly than we should.  They also have awesome vegetable chow mein, which ends up feeding me for a week.  With the amount of food we order, they must think there are three of us living here though because they always give us three fortune cookies.  Which means we each get a fortune and a half. The one above is our shared fortune.  The one below was mine alone.  I thought the fortune above applies to the theme of this blog, right? Appropriate. The one below...well, it was just random flattery.  And I liked it.  Thank you, fortune maker.

A random story for your weekend!  Hope you have a great one!  (I'm getting my oil changed, in case you were wondering.  I know, I know, not as exciting as last-minute trips to Vegas.  But you gotta do what you gotta do.)

Words to Live By

Prepare to be unprepared.  

- Ed Zwick, Director/Writer of Love and Other Drugs

Someone asked the question last night, "Have you ever shown up on set and had no idea how to play the role?"  Jake and Anne conceded that, yes, this happens every time and proceeded to give examples.  But Ed Zwick summed it up best.  He said that as a director this happens too.  He plans everything out to a tee but, once shooting starts, everything changes.  The key to preparing for a project is to "Prepare to be unprepared."  You prepare so that you can be unprepared and let the project breathe.

That is the crux of our art, isn't it?  We do all of this studying, we do all of this research, we fill our scripts up with all of this technique and, when we finally get to work, all of that preparation is the foundation, not the actual guide - no matter how badly we want to cling to it.  It holds us up, it allows us to work without a net but the real challenge comes with just throwing all of that away.  Actually getting rid of the net.  Right, Chubbuck-Studio friends? #12 - Let It Go.  The hardest tool.  But the most important.  Just trusting that the work is there so you can live in that world. Where the life of the project takes us has to be a surprise.

None of this is a great revelation.  Just a great reminder.  To trust.  To live.  To breathe.

Dork Alert

High School Graduation

Really enjoyed my class yesterday and looking forward to our next one.  It is good to be back in an on-camera class, focusing on audition technique, getting geared up for the opportunities that always seem to be around the corner.  I have another commercial audition today and looking forward to going to a screening of Love and Other Drugs tonight with C.  Should be an interesting Q&A afterward.  Would you say "afterward" or "afterwards" in that sentence?  I just struggled with that grammatically for a second and then chose the former.  But I'm not sure if it's right.  Hmm.  Interesting because in my audition yesterday we had to tell a story from our childhood - a proud moment.  And, because my memory is shot - which is why keeping a blog helps - I could only think of a moment from high school, instead of anything younger.  I thought of stuff from my "child-childhood" once I left the audition but, at that moment, I thought about being in high school, being pretty good at English and being asked to take the AP English exam.  I guess it was good for the school to have higher scores representing them or something because I was not in AP.  I was in IB.  But I took the test anyway since it didn't really affect my academic well-being.  When I found out I had scored a "5," I thought that was pretty good.  In IB, our exam grading scale was 1 to 7, 7 being the best score.  So I thought a 5 was pretty decent.  Until I found out that AP exams were on a scale of 1 to 5.  I had gotten a perfect score.  That moment of realization was a dorky, proud moment.

Invigorated

New class, audition, back to class, Artist's Meeting and then.  That's it, I guess.  Busy day though and unexpectedly so. I went to find out more about the Margie Haber Studio yesterday and turns out they had an intensive starting today that I could jump into.  I wasn't planning on taking a class before the year ended but might as well wrap up this year with a bang.  The intensive will finish right before the holidays which is perfect.  Would love to chat/type more but on a time crunch this morning.  Gotta get this day going!

Stirring gravy for Thanksgiving.
The excitement on my face about the pending
meal sums up how I feel about today.
It's allll gravy.

Quote of the Day

I don't think anything that is really creative can be done without danger and risk.  

- Julie Taymor, 60 Minutes Interview

Happy Thanksgiving (weekend)!

Hope everyone had an amazing Thanksgiving yesterday and enjoys their entire weekend!  We weren't able to get home to see our families this year, so we hosted a dinner for our friends that were in the same boat.  I made my first turkey....

...which turned out pretty good!  Thank you to The Barefoot Contessa and multiple Skypes with Mom and Grandma.  And everyone brought a dish to share so our meal was very, very delicious....

I am beyond grateful for the blessings in my life:  My family, who I missed terribly; my friends, who I loved sharing the day with; and my husband, who really is my Prince Charming.

Now...some pie for breakfast is in order!  See you on Monday...!

Expanding

Fully being invested without being attached to the outcome.  Let me just be in the joy of the experience.  Your worth as a woman is neither increased nor decreased by the result. - Marianne Williamson

There was an interesting moment of synchronicity that happened last week.  My friend, FT, had an audition and she asked if I could read through the lines with her.  As we worked on her scene, we started talking about other things and Marianne Williamson came up. She speaks every Tuesday on A Course in Miracles and FT often goes.  As it happened, her audition was on Wed. morning, so she had missed that week's teaching running lines with me and she said, "You should come with me next week."  And I said, "Oddly enough, my friend K. and have been emailing each other recently about going to check that out.  So I would love to go. And K. will probably come too."  A few days later, I get a message from K.  All it said was, "Marianne Williamson, next Tuesday?"  I hadn't gotten in touch with him yet to tell him I was already planning on going.  So clearly...something was at work to bring all of us there last night.

I am very glad that I went and I plan on going again.  Her teaching covered a lot of ground, from the imagery of suffering found in various religious and ancient teachings, how that applies to our lives today and how unhappiness can register profoundly in the holiday season, especially as Americans, where in our culture we are inundated with imagery of how we are supposed to be "happy happy happy" and "consume consume consume," which often magnifies any pain we are already feeling.  Very interesting stuff.  After her initial teaching, she also took questions from those in attendance about personal issues they are facing.  And one girl is applying to graduate programs and is battling feelings of inadequacy and thoughts of "who do you think you are applying for such lofty goals?"  Which led to the quote that started this post.  Being fully invested without being fully attached to the outcome.  As an actor, I love that. It might become my new mantra at every audition.  The fact is that there are a lot of factors that lead to the final decision in casting that we have no control over.  What we do have control over is the way in which we approach every opportunity.  Here's to approaching this life with gratitude and joy - being fully invested in the moment.

Click Your Heels

A commercial audition yesterday morning was a nice way to start Celebrate Life Day.  It was at a casting office that I hadn't been to out here yet.  But I have been to their NY office.  And the set up and look of the office was very similar to NY and I had to double check my memory to see if I had been to there at some point or just to the one in NY.  I decided it was the latter scenario.  It actually made me feel a little nostalgic for my NY days.  People alway ask me, "Do you miss NY?"  I feel like I'm put into a corner with that question!  Much like I imagine children of divorce feel like when someone asks, "Do you want to live with your mom or your dad?"  Obviously, if I could have NY and LA be in one place, that would be the ideal situation.  And there is a definite source of pride that comes with living in NY and I guess that is part of my answer.  I was in NY for five and a half years.  And I loved it.  And if work took me back to NY, I would happily be there.  But...I kind of love LA.  I love the friends I've made and the people I've met. I love the opportunities that always seem to be percolating. I love the weather.  I was in NY for a quick day trip last month and, no doubt, I miss my friends there and our old neighborhood haunts.  I miss the theatre and the pulse of the city.  But LA is home now.  And there's no place like home.

Celebrate Life Day

Just a couple of views from my window as we made our way back from Vegas yesterday.  The hubby and I woke up Saturday morning and decided to go ahead and jump in the car for a quick Vegas getaway.  We have declared today, 11/22, Celebrate Life Day so this weekend was a way to kick it off. Sometimes life takes turns that are unexpected and sometimes there aren't always answers as to why.  So instead of focusing on the challenges that have shaped our past year, we have decided to look at all of the positives and the blessings that we have and celebrate them.  Celebrate Life.  Ironic that this day falls on Thanksgiving week, my favorite holiday.  I love that we have set aside a day that doesn't revolve around gift giving but instead on giving thanks.  

The pictures from our drive home are actually in chronological order of being seen - the clear sky to the snow-dusted mountains to the sun breaking through the clouds.  Harking back to my English Lit roots, it's hard to deny the imagery that led us home. 

Today's Instructions

Have an amazing weekend!  Live it up.  Love it up.  Don't stop 'till you get enough.

Livin' the Life

Sorry for the delay in posting today! Had an audition this morning that I got to play dress up for....welcome to the 80s:

80s office attire was the request from casting and I had a lot of fun getting done up.  And don't worry, I made my hair even bigger before I left my house.  From 80s awesomeness this morning to sultry sexiness tonight.  I'm going in for a short film where I am a "gorgeous model" that has a dark side.  Rachel McAdams did an interview recently and she said, "Being an actor you get to have so many lifetimes in one."  I am living the life today...a couple of them!  And speaking of living the life...have you read The Working Actress blog?  My friend, FT, told me about it and I sat and read through every post yesterday. She blogs anonymously and really captures the hustle and the truths of this crazy life we've chosen.  She is where I want to be and still fighting to get further.  I found myself feeling both frustrated and motivated when reading.  Frustrated because I'm not where I want to be yet but also motivated because I still have places to be.  And I'm going to get there.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some work to do and lines to learn....

Open

Inspiration has many sources lately...

Life will knock you down more times than you can possibly imagine.  Don't knock yourself down...Put yourself out there.  Give yourself a chance.

- Last night's episode of Parenthood

If you want to work on your art, work on your life.

- Chekhov

View from L's wedding venue

200

This is my 200th post.  That is...pretty awesome.  I have always been a bit of a "starter."  There are a lot of ideas that float around in this head and sometimes they end up outside of my head, written down in various forms.  I am a big fan of pencil and paper, so I have countless notebooks that are scribbled in but rarely do I actually stick with an idea long enough to fill the notebook.  I have countless documents saved on my computer that are just a sentence or a paragraph long.  I actually should revisit the notebooks and documents.  I might have a gem hidden away.  But I guess that is why this being my 200th post seems pretty cool.  I've stuck with this little blog throughout the year and that is a big accomplishment in my writing life.

Another big accomplishment:

Today, in Olympia, Washington, at 4:00, people will gather to see some short films at the 27th Olympia Film Festival.  As the lights dim and the crowd settles, the program will start with my film, TRUE LOVE.  Our writer/director, Al Lewis, made the trip up north to support the film and I'm excited to hear how it goes.  I hope that there is a big turnout!  This is my first time appearing in a film festival and even though I couldn't make the trip up there, I know this will not be the last chance I get to see it on the big screen.  It feels great knowing that my work is showing at a festival today.  That is an accomplishment.

Happy Dance.

Pickles

Classic Pose

Yesterday was such a fun, full day.  It started with the Run for Her 5K in the morning where I ended up with a new PR.  I'm more of a recreational runner, for exercise purposes, so I never really paid much attention to my time.  But yesterday I beat my previous 5K record by nearly three minutes.  Of course, I still was beat by a 6 year old and a 76 year old but, heck, I'm proud of myself.

Classic French Toast

C. came to cheer me on so she and my hubby and I went and treated ourselves to a yummy brunch after the race.  I had some of the best french toast I've ever had at a restaurant.  I have a picture of that too...

Classic Dancing

After breakfast, we had a little bit of downtime to get ready for L.'s wedding.  In case you've been keeping track, this was the eighth wedding that we've gone to this year and it should be the last one.  Who knows? We could get surprised with another!  It was a truly lovely affair, held at an arts center in the mountains.  Fun conversations, fun dancing and lots of love.  A really nice way to finish out the day.

So what does any of this have to do with my acting career?  You know, the whole reason I keep this blog?  ....I think it has everything to do with it...  Sometimes I find myself getting lost in the business of acting - the classes, the auditions, the representation, the networking, the submissions, the next steps - and I start to feel overwhelmed.  Overwhelmed with all that needs to be done, all that I could be doing, all that I should be doing, all of the factors that are out of my control.  And then I find myself thinking ten steps ahead instead of being in the moment.  Anticipation is a deathnail of our craft.  And it can be a real buzzkill for life too.  And at the risk of spiraling this whole thought process even deeper, if acting is a reflection of life, then I'm really putting myself into a double pickle.  So...enough with the pickles.  Appreciating each moment on this journey is going to get me to where I'm already supposed to be.  Embracing the mundane - like french toast - to the monumental - like marriage - is what art is all about.  I'll keep racing toward my goals but I'm going to dance all the way there.

Love and Life

Two Fridays ago I wrote a post called "Love."  It was inspired by John and Cat Goddard and the struggle they have been facing since John was diagnosed with cancer.  John's birthday was last week.  He turned 28.  With a heavy heart, I've learned that he passed away today.  My thoughts are with his wife Cat, his family and his friends.

This Sunday I'm running a 5K.  It is to raise money for ovarian cancer research but I'm running it in honor of all those that have had someone taken too soon because of cancer.  It is a disease that has many forms and has affected truly everyone that I know, myself and family included.  The race is in the morning and that same afternoon my dear friend, L., is getting married.  The day will be full of life affirming steps and reminders to never take love and life for granted.

It is Love that holds everything together, and it is the everything also.  - Rumi

There is no prize...

Endless

First trip to LA, first time seeing the Pacific!

The air has started to cool in LA these past few days and I am enjoying the seasonal feel of this sunny, crisp November morning.  The first time I ever visited LA was in November.  I loved how perfect the temperatures were in the morning and how cool it got in the evening.  Sweater and boots were warranted but no need for an overcoat.  Quite a welcome change from the winters of NY that I never really got used to.  Heading back to NY at the end of that first visit, plans were already in motion to move to LA at the turn of the year.  I would visit again in December to find an apartment and then in January it became official.

I'm listening to Brandi Carlile's Give Up the Ghost album this morning and loving it.  It is making me reflective with a touch of melancholy.  Thinking back to when this adventure started, this past year and wondering where the next year will take us.  As my friend R. said in her status yesterday, "Possibilities are endless."

Sometimes this happens

When I was running this morning I thought about a blog topic, thought that it would be a good one and now....I can't remember for the life of me what it was.

This world continues to get smaller...

...I decided to treat myself to a mani/pedi on Saturday morning.  As I went to sit down there was a woman that was getting her nails done a table over from me.  We smiled at each other as I moved to my chair and then we both did one of those quizzical look-backs.  The, "I feel like I know you from somewhere"-look-backs. I couldn't immediately place her so I just chalked her up to being a familiar face and there are a lot of them in this town.  Nearly everyone I know has a story about saying hello to someone they thought they knew only to realize later that the person was familiar because of a commercial they saw or a show they watched, so I figured it was one of those situations.  But then I couldn't help but overhear her telling her manicurist about how she had been working for ten days straight and this was her only day off and slowly I started making connections in my mind....She was my makeup artist on the Pizza Hut set!  I absolutely knew her.  So I interrupted and said, "I'm sorry, are you a makeup artist?" And she said, "Yes! Have we worked together??"  And I told her when and where and she felt relieved because I had looked familiar to her too but she couldn't place it.  And, small world of small worlds, she was going to be working with my director from the PH shoot the following day.  So, she and I chatted and caught up and then I had to move to get my toes "did" and we said our goodbyes and hopeful sentiments that we would see each other on set again soon.

Flashforward to our post-improv-graduation-show party later that afternoon.  One of my classmates is talking to someone next to me and I can't help but overhear him say he was shooting a commercial but it was for a foreign market and it wasn't union and he ended up in the hospital because of a burn - kind of a horror story - but, "A few months later" he "shot a Pizza Hut commercial and it was so much better."  "Get out!" I say, "When did you shoot that?"  "Earlier this year." "Me too!"  Turns out we were in the same campaign that had been shooting over the early months of this year and he worked with the same director that I did.

Small world.

And speaking of our improv-graduation-show, it was a blast!  We had so much fun and had a great audience turnout.  Had some good laughs and clever bits and I'm looking forward to more improv in the future.  I'm going to miss our class though - we had a really good group of people!

Progress

It has been a quiet week.  I finished my improv class this Wednesday and we have our big graduation show over the weekend.  I've been working on The Artist's Way and seeing synchronicity springing up all around.  Keeping a log of coincidences to see if anything ends up connecting along the way...

Talking with my friend, CM, yesterday I realized we had a few common goals.  We were talking about shooting a few projects and just getting material out there.  Building footage, creating projects for ourselves and our friends.  One of the things that holds us back is our desire to make whatever we are doing the best it can possibly be.  Which is, of course, always the goal.  But it is also one of the hardest goals to reach because art is rarely finished - it is a living, breathing creation.  As artists we often feel like we could have tweaked, heightened, made a stronger choice, in nearly all of our endeavors.  Since that conversation, I thought about something I read the first week of The Artist's Way.  It jumped out at me then and speaks to our conversation yesterday:

Progress, not perfection, is what we should be asking of ourselves.

The thought for the weekend.  The goal for next week.  Progress.

Desire-Discipline-Patience

Truth be told, chance are that someone has already done the things you want to do, or will do them, or maybe is doing them right this second.  So what separates you from the rest?  Desire?  Discipline?  Patience?  Having that fire inside?  You have to  have all of these elements working for you in combination.  If you have the desire and the motivation, but not the talent, it won't amount to anything.   If you have talent but no discipline or patience, then you're not going to follow through.  If you happen to succeed despite missing one of these fundamental attributes, let me give you this advice:  Enjoy it for the moment, because your time in the spotlight will be short-lived.  

- Rickey Minor, There's No Traffic on the Extra Mile

That is just one of the little gems in Rickey's book. Even though I'm only half-way through reading it, there have already been plenty of gems that have popped out.  I am reading it with a pencil in hand so I can take notes! Rickey is the musical director for The Tonight Show and he is the reason I got a chance to go to the show last week.  My friend, M., met him and they started talking about music.  She is a jazz singer and so they had a lot to talk about.  He invited her and her friends to come to the show the next day and I was thrilled to go.  He had another guest there, an accomplished opera singer, and there I sat thinking, I'm awesome at karaoke!  The truth is that I have always hoped that my acting would lead to singing opportunities - whether it is in a role in film or on Broadway.  Taking voice lessons a few summers back, in NY, was one of the most anticipated parts of my week.  I sing when I'm happy, I sing when I'm sad - singing has always been one of my go-to stress relievers...I'm just a gosh darned walking musical.  Remember when I had the commercial audition a little while back when I got to sing?  That was one of my favorite auditions to date.  So, clearly, I loved being around all of these musicians and just soaking up the atmosphere backstage at The Tonight Show.  And, talking with Rickey and now reading his book, it is definitely inspiring knowing someone that is so successful that has been following the themes of "working hard, following dreams, being unreasonable" that I write about on here.  Seeing how those philosophies pay off is encouraging.  Makes me want to work that much harder. 

I voted.

One at a time

Oh my, oh my.  How time does fly.  It is November....November!  Hope you all enjoyed your Halloween weekend.  Ours was a bit low key this year and we didn't get as many trick-or-treaters as we have in years past...which means there is now leftover candy to contend with.  I guess someone has to eat it (ahem).  Ok, so there are two fun things to catch you up on.  Parenthood and The Tonight Show.  I'll save the latter for later.  First up....Parenthood!

Parenthood Panel:

You could tell how much this cast really enjoys working with each other and how the family dynamic that they've created on the show has now seeped into their lives...or vise versa.  The moderator did a great job of asking interesting questions, like how did you get your start?  What was you "big break"?  What do you know now that you wish you knew then?  The kind of questions that resonated with most of the actors in the room since we are all hoping to get a show of our own someday.  A few from the cast started in commercials - yay!  And I thought Sam Jaegar said something pretty insightful in regards to auditioning.  He said he finally reached the point where he stopped caring about what "they" wanted and just started doing the roles he read for for himself.  As actors we often get in our head about trying to give casting what they are looking for so that we get the job.  But when does that work?  Rarely, if ever.  We aim to please and we miss the mark.  I was actually talking about this last week with a friend, F.T., and she said, 'Most of the time, this is the only time I will ever get to play the role - in the audition.  Why not have fun with it and do exactly what I want?  Either I am the part or I'm not.  I'm never going to be it if I'm not.'  Goes back to the sage words of Rick Nelson....

You can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.

Love

I have a lot to write about.  Insights from the Parenthood panel, my whirlwind day yesterday from audition to The Tonight Show, my audition that I have today....but I'm going to hold off.  I'm going to take a short departure from the theme of this blog to ask a favor:

I'm going to ask that you take a moment from your day and tell the person you love how much they mean to you.  Give your family a call, hold your loved ones close and say a prayer for John and Cat Goddard.  I found out about this amazing couple because one of their friends is a friend of mine.  And she posted a link to Cat's blog a few months ago.  I have been reading ever since, grieving and relating to their struggles and their love.  John has cancer and they have reached the point where treatment is no longer an option.  They are my age.  Knowing how hard it is to feel helpless as the one you love is sick...my heart breaks for John and Cat.  There really are no words but somehow Cat is able to capture some of what they are going through.  Beautifully eloquent in her pain, her love, her hope, her sadness, her gratitude.

Celebrate love today.  Celebrate life.

Brief

Audition streak is back on!  Have another commercial audition this morning and I am running a bit behind today.  Can't wait to tell you about the Parenthood panel last night - really fun, funny and insightful.  Will tell you more when the dust settles....

A World of Dreams

Well the audition streak has been broken.  4 days in a row and, gosh darn it, I'm not going out today. Yet!  You never know if a last minute appointment will roll in.  That is the fun of this business - always on your toes.  My day is pretty full though. I have my second to last improv class today - I can't believe it is already been 7 weeks.  And after that I am headed to the SAG Conversations series with the cast from Parenthood. I'm pretty sure I've blogged about how much I love that show before so, clearly, I am a bit excited to go tonight.

Started up The Artist's Way yesterday with F. and last night I sat down to read over the first week's chapter.  This quote stood out to me:

We have been taught to believe that negative equals realistic and positive equals unrealistic. - Susan Jeffers

It is so easy to get lost in the negative that comes along with choosing to live an artist's life.  There are very real challenges of sustainability and incredible odds to be faced.  But focusing on the negative can often make you turn away from what will make you truly happy.  Being unreasonable, being unrealistic - any dreamer can attest that the rewards will often outweigh the struggles.  In fact, many of us face a kind of bittersweet victory when goals are met - because the journey to get there is over.  But, then again, that just means a new one is about to begin....

This world is built on dreams.

Tidbits

We are on a bit of an audition roll.  The commercial world is cranking up and I've had an audition everyday since last Thursday.  Including yesterday and today.  Not a bad way to start a week.  Thank you to my awesome agents for getting me out there!

In other news, meeting with F. today to start our Artists Way journey.  So very excited to see where these next twelve weeks will take us.

In even more important news, the election is a week from today and I have a lot of catching up to do.  Need to read carefully through my election guide and make some decisions.  A lot of "props" to learn more about...

Festival!

If you've been following along at home, then you may remember a short film I did earlier this year called TRUE LOVE.  I was the romantic lead and had a blast shooting it.  The quality of the film is top notch and I've been waiting to see which festivals it would show at.  Well, our first one has been announced!  We will be headlining one of three shorts programs at the Olympia Film Festival!  Really proud of my director/writer and everyone involved.  I'm going to see if I can figure out a way to get up to Washington to represent it.  I would love to be there and see how its received.  Even if I don't get to go, this is hopefully the first of many festivals!

Focus

Another commercial audition today!  A great way to ring in the weekend.  I gotta tell you, I slept for about ten hours last night.  I think I was more exhausted than I realized after Wednesday's marathon day.  But I'm feeling refreshed and ready to kick this day off the right way.  Feeling pretty excited about a new venture I'm starting next week with F.  We are going to do The Artist's Way together and meet once a week to discuss and keep on track.  I've been feeling lots of creative impulses lately without the real notion of where I want to exert my energies.  I want to write...but write what?  A short story?  A screenplay?  A novel?  Not sure.  Not even sure what I want to write about.  I want to paint but haven't.  I feel like there is a lot I want to do that is just bubbling around inside.  I'm thinking that doing this 12 weeks again will help me to focus.  In fact, I only did 9 weeks of the 12 the last time I attempted this.  In 2007.  I've been writing my morning pages on and off though since 2004.  When I first got the book.  This has been a bit of a journey and this will be the first time I attempt it with a friend.  There is a guide in the back for "creative clusters" - doing this program with other people.  The author says,

We all start out the same way - rich in dreams and nothing more.  If we are lucky, we find friends to believe in our dreams with us.  When we do, that creative cluster becomes a magnet to attract our good.

I'm ready to be a magnet.  I'm excited that this will bring us into the new year with a different perspective and interested to see where it takes us.