Stories

Did you watch the Oscars last night?

I didn't.

I know....what??  It is easily the first time in years that I missed the show.  It's all on dvr and I know who won - I mean, there were no real surprises last night, after all.  But I was on a plane, headed back from the east coast where we had spent the weekend with family.  It feels nice to step out of this town now and again and stepping out on "Hollywood's Biggest Night" felt especially nice.  A little rebellious.  (I know.  I just rolled my eyes too.)  But stepping away  when the hoopla is at it's pinnacle gives you a chance to remember why you do this.  Yes, to be up on stage accepting an Oscar one day will be a thrill.  But it can't be the only reason we're pursuing this.  It is a wonderful goal to strive toward, a northern star of sorts.

But it starts with a love.  A love for creating, a love for performing, a love for storytelling.  Being with family never fails to remind me of that.  I come from a family of amazing storytellers.  And I married into a family that loves to sit around the dining table, telling story after story.  To me, that is a major part of what being a family is.  The creation of stories, the recounting of stories - the stories we make together, the stories we share with each other, the stories we write just by being born.  I feel incredibly blessed to have been born into a family of storytellers, to marry into a family of storytellers and to create a family of storytellers with the friends I hold dear.  This is why we are here - to share with each other, to learn from each other, to relate to each other.  Finding the common thread is why I do what I do.  That is what being an actor is to me.

....and one day I may get to say all that on a stage while hugging a little golden statue, trying to beat the music.  Or I may not.  But it is comforting to know that the stories will continue to be written, continue to be told.  And all I want is to continue being a part of the narrative.

Adventures

When we shift our inner statement from "I'd love to" to "I'm going to," we shift out of victim and into adventurer. - Julia Cameron, Walking in This World

Mental shifts go a long way in this business.  Last year I vowed to get off of the mental-hamster-wheel and I've done much better...but I do find myself slipping into old habits now and again.  With social media it is pretty easy to see who is being cast in what, who is working on what, who booked that commercial you went in for, who is testing for pilots, who has a new project they are developing, who went to a red carpet event.  And it's easy to look at what everyone else is doing and think, "Why not me?  I'd love to...book that job/go in for that show/meet that casting director/sign with that agent/work on that project."  And before you know it, a little 'woe-is-me' song and dance starts serenading and sashaying all over your psyche.  And bitterness bubbles up.  And then sadness.  And then suddenly everything you are doing isn't enough.  And you're a victim.  Might as well face it, you're a victim of love.  A victim of "I'd love to."

Something magical starts to happen though when you make that tiny shift of "I'd love" to "I'm going".  You feel a little lighter.  A little happier.  You think of all the possibilities that you are going to make happen.  You start to make lists of shows you're right for, casting directors you want to meet, classes you want to take, stories you want to write, projects you want to create, books you want to read.  You start to realize how incredibly blessed you are to be an artist, to be pursuing art as your life - not as a hobby or a secret passion - but as your way of life.  And you start to feel happy for other people's successes instead of resentful.  Because you realize that you are going to be celebrating your own successes soon enough.  And being right where you are at, with your lists and your "going-to's," is enough to start celebrating right now.  You are on an adventure.  And you are in charge of how your road looks.  Once you open yourself up to that truth, there is no telling where the road may lead.

Caution: Lots of pictures ahead

It's an overcast morning.  The town is quiet for the holiday.  And it's quiet for me as I sit here, about to have a cup of tea, reflecting on the past week and looking at my to-do list for this week.  My sister and her boyfriend flew into town for a last minute trip last week and I miss having them here.  We were all over this town - from Hollywood to Malibu to the high seas.  Seriously.  High seas.  We went sailing yesterday afternoon with our friends and it was very windy out there.  There may have been some queasy stomachs aboard.  But seasickness aside, it was a full, fun trip and a very nice visit with family.

The Chubbuck Holiday Party was last night and I wasn't sure if I was going to go.  After driving to the airport to drop off our house guests, I was still in comfy sweats and ready to stay in for the night.  But good friends convinced me to go so I dolled myself up and hit the club.  I have to admit...clubs are not for me.  Loud and crowded are two things I'm not a fan of.  But it was good to catch up with friends and old classmates.  I mean, as much as once can catch up yelling over loud music.  Oh man. I'm such an old biddy.  Ahem.  Let's start over.  I had fun seeing old friends, meeting a few new ones and watching people dance.  I may have even shook my hips to the beat as well.  I'm not a total stick in the mud.  Geez.

Kwesiu Jones

Fadhia Marcelin

Angel Oquendo

Reid Gormly

Melinda Hughes
& Cameron McCormick

And now it's time for me to tackle that to-do list that looms before me.  I'm most excited about starting to read "Walking in This World" by Julia Cameron.  It is the follow-up to The Artist's Way about the practical application of putting all that unlocked creativity to use.  Watch out world!  I'm walking here!

Oh! And one last bit of business before I go...GIRL PARTS is syndicated!  Starting today, the series is relaunching episodes every Monday on Koldcast.tv.  It's exciting to be bringing the show to a new audience every week.  Feel free to tell your friends that haven't gotten a chance to watch yet to check us out at our new home!

A new mantra

Just read an interview with Michelle Williams and she says this:

I always loved the Amish saying, “Head down to the ground, heart to the sky, Pray but move your feet, work but keep dreaming.” I knew what I wanted to do and it takes one person to give you the chance to try it.

The interviewer was asking how she managed to have this celebrated and challenging career, after getting her start in a teen drama (Dawson's Creek).  Not many actors can make that transition and yet she has.  The above was part of her response.

But doesn't it apply to all of us who are hustling to make this career happen everyday?  "I knew what I wanted to do and it takes one person to give you the chance to try it."  We keep moving forward, taking classes, going to workshops, writing our own work, praying as we go into auditions, praying that we get auditions, dreaming all along the way.  And it only takes that one right person to give us a chance.  So we meet and we network and we put work out there.  Because we have to.  Because we love the work.  And because we dream that the right person will come along and see that "something special" that is in us and give us a shot.  Give us work.  Let us shine.


Head down to the ground, heart to the sky, pray but move your feet, work but keep dreaming.  

Everyday. 

VOTE (please!!)

Thanks to your help....we made it into the Top Ten Finalists for the Indie Intertube Audience Choice Award!  From now until February 15th, you can vote once a day for GIRL PARTS.  Please vote from your laptop, your desktop, your iPad, your phone....you get the idea.  Anywhere you can vote from would be awesome!

It's so easy too - no form to fill out or information to give.  Just click and vote!

VOTE HERE

And thank you!!!

Smash = A Mirror

At my going away party in NY,
before I moved to LA.

Did you watch Smash last night?  We did.  And we had to keep pausing and looking at each other and saying, "What?" "Really?" "Stop it."  That was basically the conversation between me and my husband.  The show hit really close to home.  From the first audition we see Katherine McPhee's character at where the director takes the call in the middle of her singing to the dinner she has with her boyfriend and her parents to the shot of her singing along to the leaked Youtube video, it was like someone had sneaked in and leaked video of my life.  My life now and my life in New York.  Watching the show made me feel nostalgic for my time in New York and my youth.  I know, I know, I'm still young.  But I was in my twenties.  I was just out of college.  I was pursuing this dream that seemed so possible, so fresh, so exciting.  And yet it was so obvious that it wasn't going to be easy.  It was never going to be easy.  So there was that part of the show that felt ripped from my own headlines.  And even now, the show hit close.  Yesterday I found out that I needed to record a clip of me singing to upload to the casting sites.  There are a lot of pilots being cast that need real singers and I need to show them that I can. So I sat here yesterday, going through the possible songs I could sing, singing along and testing them out.  This was before we watched the show.  And today I'll tape it and hope that the right person sees it.  And so the cycle goes.  

I think the most sobering part of the show is that I am not unique in feeling like it was a slice of my life.  There is a reason the writing felt so close to home - because it is a cliche.  And cliches are true. This is what we all go through in this business.  All of us pursuing this dream get that rude audition or that conversation that tells you to be realistic or we have that night, sitting in front of our computers, learning a new song as we continue to dream.  We get frustrated and feel like if we could only be seen for the great talents that we are, then everything will fall in place.  And we feel like we are the only ones feeling this way.  But, clearly, we all feel this way.  We all think we are special.  We all feel we are unique.  We all feel like we are stars.  And we all know the percentages are low for "making it" but we all also think, "Why not me?"  If someone is going to get "that" role...why shouldn't it be me?  If not this one...then the next.  And we keep going.  

I'm sure as the show continues there will be major divergences from how it reflects my life.  But this pilot episode was pretty spot on.  I cringed. I groaned. I empathized. I waxed romantically about NY.  And I set a series recording. 

So I write

Look and you will find it - what is unsought will go undetected.
- Sophocles

On Friday afternoon I printed out the second draft of my screenplay.  I'm going to let it rest for a moment. Although I'm already thinking of ways to fix/tweak/clarify/heighten.  Having the second draft done is a big step but I still feel like there is something missing and I'm hoping that by stepping away for a moment, I can find that piece.  In the meantime, the goal this week is to focus on other projects and lose my tunnel vision.  I want to sit and brainstorm ideas for short films.  I want to paint.  There are fitness classes I'm going to and I'm going to keep up with my running everyday.  I have a casting workshop tomorrow night and plans to go bowling with my Improv class buddies.  I envy people that can sit down and write for hours at a time.  To write screenplay after screenplay until they are piled up, just waiting to be produced.  But I don't write because it's my passion.  I write to feed my passion.  I write so I can act.  I write to provide opportunities; to be an active participant in this career.  I could just wait for the phone to ring...and sometimes I do.  But there is only so much that I can control.  When I was cast in "True Love," the writer/director later admitted that when he saw my headshot come across his submissions, I was what he had pictured in his head when he wrote the part.  That, my friends, is extremely rare when you are not a "name" actor.  That was luck, a fluke, a lovely piece of coincidence.  And that doesn't happen often.  I can't control when that sort of providence happens...unless I'm the one writing the parts.

Voting time!

Remember how I asked you to help us get nominated for the Indie Intertube Audience Choice Award?  Well it worked!!  Thank you!  We're in the first round of voting now...and I need your help again.  It's super-super-easy to do.  Just go to the IndieIntertube.tv homepage, look to the right and you'll see a poll that looks like this:

Find GIRL PARTS (it's alphabetically arranged), click the box and click "vote".  You're done!  Or...you can keep voting.  Yep, you can vote as often as you'd like.  So feel free to refresh the page and vote again. And again.  And again.

Thanks for your help!!

1/12

Here we are...starting the second month of the year.  2012 is already one twelve complete.  Where does it go?

Yesterday I found out that I "passed" Level 201 of Improv.  After our graduation show, you have to wait to receive official word that you've passed before moving onto the next level.  Looks like most (if not all) of my classmates made the cut and we're hoping to sign up for a class together in 301.  Right now classes are all sold out but hopefully they'll add some new options soon.  It took me a year after 101 to start 201 and I wasn't sure that I'd want to go beyond the second level.  Improv felt like a fun class to take in order to learn new skills that would hopefully come to use in auditions.  So I thought I'd take a few classes, get what I needed and move on.  But now?  I kind of loved my 201 class and the challenge of Improv is something I want to continue with.  It helps with auditions and it also helps with my writing.  So here I am...refreshing the classes page on the website to see when they add new ones.  Who knew?

I think I'll do a monthly wrap up the first of every month.  This month is easy because it was a bit of a slower month.  Hopefully next month's wrap up will be a beast to recount and I won't even want to because there is too much to talk about!

January 2012

• Signed with my manager!
• Got all my tools in order for her (headshots touched up, uploaded, printed, updated resume, updated profiles on casting sites, etc.)
• Two casting director workshops that went well
• Two commercial auditions
• Graduated and passed Level 201 Improv
• Second draft of screenplay nearly complete

Here's to February being abundant with opportunity and that we'll want to squeeze everything we can out of that extra day we get this year!