If you are a semi-regular reader of this blog, surely you've noticed a decline in postings in the past few months. While, yes, I have been traveling a bit since May, I haven't been gone THAT much to warrant the kind of decrease in writing that is being seen. So why the lack of blogging?
There are a few reasons. First, in 2010 (and then it carried over into 2011), I made it a goal to post a blog every weekday. It didn't have to be a mind-blowing revelation each day but it had to be something. It was a challenge to myself. And for the most part, I adhered to it. I didn't give myself the same sort of challenge this year. I guess I figured I had met that goal. On to new things. I started working on my screenplay last year and having a daily writing goal helped fuel the other writing goals in my life. I'm not the kind of writer who has a need to always be writing. Or the kind of writer who has an idea, sits down, and finishes their screenplay/novel/essay in record time. Writing may come naturally to me but it is often the last thing I want to do. I heard someone say once, "My house is never cleaner than when I have a writing deadline." And it's true! I will scrub the toilet before I sit down to write. I will dust, vacuum, straighten, return emails, read blogs, et cetera, et cetera, and then, once I can no longer find a way to procrastinate, I'll sit down to write. And it's a shame because usually when I write I actually end up enjoying it. And I think to myself, I should have started this sooner! But then an evening passes and I develop amnesia and forget all about that enjoyment. And I start procrastinating again.
For this blog, I've always tried to keep it focused on my acting life. Whether it be personal anecdotes or inspiring quotes or interesting articles about the business, my posts have been streamlined to focus on the pursuit of this dream. And much of that dream has come true. I've been beyond fortunate to work in this business of show and make money and be in the union and develop friendships and relationships with ridiculously talented people. But. If I'm being honest. And I am. I've grown tired lately. I'm tired of the hustle and grind of it all. I actually feel like I'm more tired of talking about it than I am actually doing it. I've been on this road for ten years. Exactly. Ten years ago, yesterday, I moved to New York City to pursue my dream. Two weeks later I booked my first commercial. Ten years ago I thought I'd be in a very different place than I am right now. Where exactly did I think I'd be? I thought I'd be fending off the paparazzi on my way to work on my hit network show, naturally. And while being on a hit network show still sounds fun, I am beyond blessed to be where I am. I have an amazing husband, a beautiful place to live, more close friends than I can count on two hands, a family that supports me, a union card, great reps, a resume I can be proud of, two commercials still holding and ten years of stories about the ups and downs in this pursuit.
And the pursuit continues. But I'm not sure how much blog posting will happen. I'll be around to share stories when they happen but most days I'm just living life. And life reaches far beyond the constraints I've put on this blog. Life consists of laundry and workshops and classes and coffee dates and long walks and TV watching and book reading and festival submissions and BBQs and knitting and volunteering and impromptu shoots and pizza and workouts and grocery shopping and book club...and...and...to quote one of my favorite writer/directors Cameron Crowe, from his movie Almost Famous, "It's all happening."
And it is.
Love you!
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